Offering to His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada from Dwarkadhisa dasa

Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day

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I feel the desire to write something for Srila Prabhupada on his anniversary of his disappearance day. Wow it was 44 years ago, and I was only 14 years old.  Devotees had been giving us news that Prabhupada was very sick and bedridden for months. Every day I would pray with the devotees for his health and recovery. I would see him being carried in his rocking chair wearing big sunglasses to take Darshan of Gaura Nitai, Krsna Balaram and Radha Shayam Sundar. 


Then that afternoon on November 14th during lunch time I heard the news that Prabhupada may leave his body within hours. I left my lunch half eaten and ran to his quarters. Many devotees surrounded his bed singing kirtan with much grief and sadness. I didn’t believe he would leave us in his physical form. Of course, he would tell us all the time that he may pass away anytime, and that we all needed to take guidance from his books and instructions. I thought he would tell me what my service would be when I grew up. 


I stayed in the kirtan until I had to leave to offer aratik in the temple. After aratik I got distracted while eating maha prasadam and talking instead of going back to his room. Then the news came out that he had just passed away. I knew all was going to change in ISKCON. I felt I had lost our eternal guide and master. I felt a real darkness and emptiness. Despite of all the changes and severe hardships I suffered in ISKCON and outside I try to remain his disciple by following his instructions with the best of my abilities. I beg to remain at his lotus feet eternally. 

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